"Citizen Caine"
Back in the day, I used to be a huge James Bond freak. I owned all the VHS movies from "Dr No" to "Goldeneye" and could recite any trivia answer to all the films in between. However, I've somewhat petered off of this bandwagon and have kept to some of the classic Connery films with some Moore and Craig in the mix.

Lately, I'd say in the last 6 years, I've grown attached to another actor's repertoire. That would be a Sir Maurice Mickelwhite, better known as Sir Michael Caine.

I guess it all stemmed from a pub conversation I had with some friends from the UK as one-by-one they would recite lines from his classic 60's-70's roles and denying that most films from the late-70's to the 80's didn't exist (The Swarm, Jaws: The Revenge and Beyond The Poseidon Adventure). Their claim for Mr Caine's greatness was best quoted by my friend's flatmates, Jimbo and Michael, who insisted that Caine never really acted out those roles, and he was merely just being himself.

The more I watch these films, the more I can somewhat understand this assertion.


1. Zulu (1964)

Most people don't realize that Caine actually came onto the scene playing Lt. Bromhead in the British war epic, "Zulu." Its an amazing war film (considered one of the top 10 war films of all-time) detailing the battle of Rorke's Drift between the British Army and the Army of Zulus. The story itself is considered one of true British heroism as 139 British soldiers suffer horrific casualties while they held off over 4,000 Zulu warriors. Its summarized in several history books and the military song the troops sing as they await their fate, "Men of Harlech," is considered the unofficial Welsh National Anthem. A bit of trivia was around that there was a line in the film where Caine says "Dont throw your bloody spears at me!" but this is untrue.

2. The Ipcress File (1965)

This was the beginning of Caine's spy-role career. As Sean Connery was #1 at the box office with his suave James Bond roles, Caine's spy was more realistic with his trademark glasses (which became in inspiration for Austin Powers), bullish wit and no-frills approach to solving crimes.

3. Alfie (1966)

This is the role that basically put Caine on the map. His attitude, wit, appearance and all the stuff in between in classic Caine. When he says "My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know." you can tell he means it. Also, the soundtrack by Sonny Rollins and the theme song by Burt Bacharach is the stuff of legend.

4. Funeral in Berlin (1966)

Here we have Caine reprising his role as Harry Palmer in another story from the books by Len Deighton. Caine delivers the same dry wit and near-misogynistic bravado that you don't see in many films these days. A classic line when he gets a call from his boss and his girlfriend is in the kitchen wearing only his shirt, Palmer interrupts the conversation and tells her "You're useless in the kitchen. Why don't you go back to bed?" I'm no misogynist, but when they can be played like this, I gotta give props. If you can play a dick on the big screen, do it right.

5. The Italian Job (1969)

Here we have a classic Mod film from Sir Michael Its true when they say the cars are practically cast members themselves. The heist escape through Turin into the Alps is wonderfully shot and as colorful as a painting. Caine's line "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" is considered one of the best movie one-liners in British cinema. What I find interesting is that despite using the word "bloody" in the pic, the movie gets a G rating. Its probably one of the only G-Rated films I own.

6. Get Carter (1971)

Without a doubt, the character of London gangster, Jack Carter, is a true O.G. He kicks ass without sympathy, holds a cold heart and does whatever it takes to find out who killed his brother and "respect his authoritah." This is the only film I know where the word "craphouse" is spoken with such frankness. Makes me wonder if the city of Newcastle took offense to it. Again, you also have a great soundtrack by Roy Budd. I'll always watch this film with a pint of bitter (in a thin glass). Best line - "You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow."

7. Dressed to Kill (1980)

One of Caine's better films from the 80's. Its more of a Brian DePalma suspense thriller in a way, and the scenes with Angie Dickinson are quite revealing. Its a little overblown like most DePalma films, but the twists that involve Caine are quite unique.

I wanted to mention 2 other films, The Man Who Would be King (Caine and Connery on the same screen, sweet) and Sleuth, but I have yet to own these on DVD as they are the last ones I'd prefer in my Caine collection. Hopefully they can be re-pressed into better-quality as the ones in existence now are those dreaded "flipper discs" where you have to stop the movie halfway and flip the disc to see the other half. So silly...

Caine also did alot of WWII films in the 70s like A Bridge Too Far and The Eagle Has Landed, and another WWI prison camp story called Victory where he was a soccer coach to Pele and Sly Stallone as they defeat the Nazis in a prison-sponsored game.


So forget the remakes like Jude Law's "Alfie", Stallone's "Get Carter" and Wahlberg's "Italian Job" (although its kinda fun with the new Mini Coopers) and watch the true master.